tard of the week: man locks himself in chastity belt

This week’s tard of the week is absurd on so many levels.

Seems there was a fellow in Kingston, Surrey who, whilst his girlfriend was out, decided to try a little kinky stuff and try on some of her underwear.

Fairly common, you say? True, But this guy didn’t just try on a pair of slinky silkies – oh no. He tried on her chastity belt. Made of metal. With a padlock, And everything.

Problem was, somehow this idiot managed to lose the key. What was he doing, running around the house? Wearing it/them for hours? After failing to locate the keys, he reluctantly called 999. That’s a tape we would pay money to hear.

“The crew spent nearly an hour using three high-powered machines to saw through the sex toy – as the man passed out.

Crew boss Brennan Healey said: “He was very embarrassed.” - The Sun

One wonders what went through his mind as he called the emergency services, or whilst he waited for them to arrive.

Oh, and exactly how he explained the belt being in several pieces when his girlfriend got home. Let’s hope she doesn’t read the Sun.

 

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