This week, we take a look at the absolute clusterfuck that is the redesign of the Gawker Media group’s wesbites. They don’t want to be seen as blogs aymore, so have decided to rebuild them as SERIOUS NEWS OUTLETS, and in the process managed to drop site traffic and piss just about all their readers off, eventually caving into the baying crowd so much that they have cobbled together some stuff to pacify them that effectively makes the whole damn enterprise redundant in the first place. Like putting wheels on a hovercar because people just prefer wheels.

Gotta love that schadenfreude feeling. We are proud to say we are a blog, will always be a blog and will never change that.

Point and laugh at the fat websites with bad glasses right here.

Oh, Alex Jones. That decibel-heavy, shouty loud protester of all things New World Order and conspiracy. Many people dig a good conspiracy theory; many people seek the truth where they feel there are lies. But not all charge for their services. And for those that pay for such services, they expect, well, from a self-confessed truthseeker, the truth. Funny that.

So what has the internet’s number one cause of earache done to illicit the ire of may conpiracy theorists and truth seekers around the world? Find out after the jump!

While brash, loud and usually utterly annoying, Jones does seem to go out of his way to chase down truths and misdeeds as aggressively as possible – often with a bullhorn as a tool – with the apparent intent of educating the mindless masses out of their torpor.

From time to time he does seem to come up with some good points. And, of course, as befitting any web host who has a message that despeartely needs to get to the ears of the public at any cost lest they be blinded by government misdirection and sleight of hand this information can be found in handy-dandy purchaseable items such as books and DVDs. A guy’s gotta eat, right?

So over the last few days the buzz has been built up with an announcement from Jones that (and I paraphrase here):

“ZOMGWTFBBQ I HAEV TEH MOAST AMAZEING THING COMING UP THAT IS TEH MOAST ASTOUNDING THING EVER IN THE HISTORY OF EVERTINK I HAEV DONE EVAR!!!one!!eleven AND U MUST BE HEAR TO WITNESS IT!!!!one!!”

So, understandably, with Jones’ overbearing reputation for fighting for the common man, people watched infowars.com and waited.

What did they get?

They were presented with a transcript of an interview granted to Charlie Sheen by President Barack Obama, in which Sheen harangues and cajoles the POTUS about 9/11 and the lies surrounding it. Think of it as a 21st Century version of David Frost grilling Nixon about Watergate. Quite impressive. The Pres. himself comes off as a bit of a jerk, ducking the issue and patting Sheen on the head like an annoying puppy.

Quite groundbreaking you think? A testament to Jones’ common man spirit and journalistic ability?

Well, actually, no. Not in the slightest. A testament to Jones’ ability to shill, deceive and misrepresent, in the name of site traffic, most likely. See, about an hour and a half after the interview transcript was posted, it was pulled. Then reposted with a slight addition: right at the bottom, after you have read the whole thing and believed every word, is the tiniest of disclaimers: 

Author’s Note: What you have just read didn’t actually happen… yet.

This is an open letter to the President requesting a new investigation.

Charlie Sheen.

So, in essence, what you have now just wasted 10 minutes reading is utter and complete bullshit. Fan-fiction from a Z-list celeb that no-one alive actually gives a fuck about, and of no greater value than someone posting on in the Skunkworks forum on AboveTopSecret.com saying that they are a Zeta Reticulan here to warn us of impending doom.

What this faux interview does  – apart from open Jones up to the possibility of libel lawsuits from the Whitehouse – is reinforce, to the common man, that a) all conpiracy theorists are nutjobs; b) Jones is an ass of the highest order and is simply fawning like a schoolgirl because he knows a faded celeb; and c) this was the most underwhelming piece of faux-journalism in the history of bullshit.

Whatever credibility Jones may have had before is now shot to pieces. He is no more than your typical tinofoiler, except he probably has a nice car and house thanks to you buying his material. And a bullhorn.

If any of his work ever was valid or correct before, well, that’s gone now.

Jones is purported to have stated that the reason for the lie was a psy-ops tactic to get the mainstream media to pick up the story and get the important questions about 9/11 raised into the public consciousness. Unfortunately, presenting the article as genuine with a big hoo-haa and then only confessing an hour and a half later in a tiny tiny postscript (so missable that even most of the commenters on the article missed it) that it is a work of fiction invalidates the entire thing, effectively calls those who believed it fools, and more egregiously risks the dismissal of all of the points that Sheen raises in his faux-grilling. “This is all a matter of public record, reported through mainstream media, painstakingly fact checked and verified” he states. Well, unfortunately, because the interview is a lie, this statement rings hollow – nothing in the article can therefore be trusted, and most people will investigate no further.

As one reader comments at the end of the article: 

“Wait a minute. All that hype for an imaginary interview with Obama? About 9-11? About Sheen going on the Alex Jones show presenting evidence WE ALREADY KNOW? I’m a believer but I DON”T like being sucked into a “News at 11″ teaser.”

Oh, Alex. Time to shut the fuck up and go get a job, I guess, What a cockbollock.

In case you require proof, here is the original posting of the interview sans disclaimer, that most people assumed was the real deal, thankfully saved by a canny member at ATS. 

Jones gets an honorary “Retard Of The Week” tag on this article for being such a dick.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, I am not a disinfo agent in the employ of some shadowy government enclave. I’m far too hopeless for such shenanigans like that.

UPDATE: a half-assed missive has been posted on Jones’ sister site, prisonplanet.com, addressing the issue. It includes:

“Separately, a few other blogs were up in arms about Sheen’s letter being a “hoax” because the disclaimer clarifying that the meeting with Obama was a stylized fictional account and not a real event did not get added to the bottom of the article until a little later due to technical snafus and a bombardment of traffic that shut down servers and locked out Infowars and Prison Planet webmasters. With the Infowars version having been copied across from Prison Planet, both original versions did not contain the disclaimer until the error was brought to our attention and promptly fixed as soon as we could gain access to servers that kept crashing, as many readers noted at the time. We added the disclaimer as soon as possible as well as other information that should have been included at the bottom of the original article regarding Sheen’s appearance on the show. We apologize for any confusion this may have caused and are trying to move our servers in house to prevent this routine occurrence from happening again.”

That’s no moon apology. Nor is it a believable excuse. Firstly, we are expected to believe that after over apparently many, many hours of perparation for the whole week’s events, someone misses out a line of text? Then we are expected to believe that the demand on the sites causes overload so that the updated article could not be corrected. I don’t think so. Research has revealed the hosting for both sites is outsourced and of a nature that is specifically designed to avoid such scenarios for high-traffic sites. Plus, it would have taken all of a few seconds to add the line, re-upload the page file and voila! no one is the wiser, and this cold have been done the moment the original upload went live. You show me someone who writes and article, puts it on the web and he doesn’t read through it? Even the most modest of writers reads through the published piece to make sure it all came out ok (and to get a little tickle to the ego – don’t deny it). Lastly, it does not explain why someone so dedicated to freedom of speech would cull negative comments on forums (as has been reported by many posters) and why comments are now turned off on all articles on Prisonplanet. He wants free speech for all, but not when you might be critical, obviously.

And one last nail in the coffin – if this had been my mistake, you know what I would have done? Included an apology or explanaton there and then, maybe even with the disclaimer that was added. But no, we get a very subtle and seemingly reluctant apology the next day, amidst self-congratulatory boasting.

I call foul. My gut feeling is still wilful deception to raise traffic and hits – not to break the story. 

End. 

Dudes…you crossed the line of feasability with the godawful animated series. Anything after that is just pissing in your own beer.

Sonic is no Link, no Mario, no Master Chief. Fucking let it go already.

See this week’s crushing denouement right here.

Why, gentle reader,  this is Conservative MP Anthony Steen. Now, we don’t often take direct political sides here in dogsounds Towers, mostly because we lack the ability to defend our points in arguments because we suck at debate. But this guy, we are happy to say, is the kind of Tory scumbag that would make me never, ever, ever want to vote for that party. When I heard his tale earlier today, it drove me into a blind rage. Find out why he is the #1 arrogant, self-important and totally-out-of -touch-with-the-public clusterfuck in British politics right now. In my opinion.

Dear, sweet readers outside the UK may not be aware that right now Parliament is in turmoil with the revelation of what exactly MP’s are claiming as valid expenses.  Many MP’s have been forced to resign or retire, many will find a sudden total lack of support from their constituents, and there is even talk that there is pressure to call a General Election. Public trust in the establishment and been totally flushed down the toilet. Why?

Well, right now, as the average person in the UK struggles to keep (or find) a job, struggles to pay their mortgage, struggles to get a mortgage, struggles to maintain their debts, all under the cloud of  record levels of debt and reposession, it has been revealed that MPs are claiming for the most outrageous things on official expenses.

Whilst you worry that your mortgage is in arrears and your family will soon be homeless, MP’s are using taxpayer money to buy things like TV’s, decorate their second homes, repair leaking pipes under their tennis courts, and build little islands in the middle of their duck ponds. And, worst of all, some MPs have been caught claiming mortgage payments on expenses – even though the mortgage had already been paid off. And the people who are struggling to survive financially – you and me – are paying for it.

Well, the shit hit the fan, the public went hoopla-apeshit about it, and party leaders left, right and centre are warning their members that anyone found guilty of this who does not pay the money back will be removed from the party, and party politics.

Now there is a slight flaw – they have not broken the law. The things they have claimed for are allowed within the expense framework guidelines. However, this is no free pass to be sure as though they may be within the guildelines, they are well out of order to the average man in the street, especially in the current economic climate. 

So, some are sacked, some sheepishly pay back. Some moan and complain about being forced to stand down. Guess what, fuckers? If had an extension built on my house and claimed it on my emloyer’s expenses, you know, they would pretty much fire my ass within five minutes.

And then this dickshit, Anthony “I represent the people, my arse” Steen, comes out of the woodwork. Big fuck-off house, lots of land. He has spent over £87,000 on his house, including getting a forestry expert to inspect trees on the land. And he whinges like a fucking little brat that the public are compaining about it, saying people are just jealous because of his big house.

Guess what, moron?  That’s more wrong than a kiddy-fiddler in a childrens’ playground. We couldn’t give a flying fuck about your big house. What we do give a fuck about is that you are spending our fucking money on it. OUR money. You bought the fucking house, pay for it your fucking self. It’s not a perk of the job. You made the choice. Some MP’s live at the other end of the country and have a small flat in London to enable them to not have to commute all across the country every day – that’s fair enough. The public can accept that.

But you? You couldn’t be more out of fucking touch if you tried. Shut the fuck up, stand down, get the fuck out of my country’s political system. You are nothing but a bloated, obfuscating, self-absorbed and irrelevant leech. You may as well take money out of people’s hands directly. 

Anyone this absolutely fucking clueless about ordinary people has no right to represent them.  

Apparently he later apologised for his comments, stating he was “deeply upset”. Fuck off. Try imagining a family with young children who are having their house reposessed because they are now out of work and cannot afford the mortgage, and face a council house waiting list that grows ever longer because local councils cannot afford to build new housing stock. They are “upset”. You, on the other hand, are just an utter twat.

If you want to hear his pathetic, clueless comments, listen here.

And the icing on the cake? He says “what right does the public have to interfere with his private life?”

I’d say pretty much every right, as long as we are fucking paying for it.

Sadly, Anthony, I am afraid you don’t qualify for dogsounds’ Retard Of The Week award. You get dogsounds’s rarely-outed Retard For Fucking Ever award.

Ignorant fucking moron.

The Sci-Fi channel. What does that name say to you? Could it perhaps, just on the edge of the realms of possibility, tell you that, most probably, you will find some science fiction programming? Whaddya think?

Now try the new name that the channel will have from June: Syfy. What does that make you think of? Tell me, because I’m fucked if I know.

Seems that the powers that be want to try to attract a much wider viewership. Seems to be the trend, like “casual gaming” in the TV world. But what the hell does “syfy” signify? who’s that gonna attract? And what in the name of fuck where they thinking with “Imagine Greater“? That’s like saying “Think Bigly“.

The following press release is an explanation of the seemingly pointless rebranding from Dave Howe, president of Sci-Fi. Well, I say that, but what it really is is a huge heaped and steaming pile of marketing team buzzwords and corporate shill:

New York, NY – March 16, 2009 – Building upon sixteen years of water cooler programming and soaring ratings growth following its most-watched year ever, SCI FI Channel is evolving into Syfy on air and on-line beginning July 7th, it was announced today by Dave Howe, President, SCI FI.

By changing the name to Syfy, which remains phonetically identical, the new brand broadens perceptions and embraces a wider and more diverse range of imagination-based entertainment including fantasy, paranormal, reality, mystery, action and adventure, as well as science fiction. It also positions the brand for future growth by creating an ownable trademark that can travel easily with consumers across new media and non-linear digital platforms, new international channels and extend into new business ventures.

Imagine Greater will become the new brand message and tagline, inviting both consumers and advertisers into a new era of unlimited imagination, exceptional experiences and greater entertainment. Syfy more clearly captures the mainstream appeal of the world’s biggest entertainment category, and reflects the network’s ongoing strategy to create programming that’s more accessible and relatable to new audiences. Syfy will continue to celebrate the traditional roots of the genre, while opening the brand aperture to accommodate a broader range of imagination-based entertainment.

“While continuing to embrace our legacy and our core audience, we needed to cultivate a distinct point of view with a name that we could own that invites more people in and reflects our broader range of programming,” said Mr. Howe in making the announcement. “Syfy allows us to build on our 16 year heritage of success with a new brand built on the power that fuels our genre: the Imagination. Syfy ushers in a new era of unlimited imagination, exceptional experiences and greater entertainment that paves the way for us to truly become a global lifestyle brand.”

Syfy — unlike the generic entertainment category “sci-fi” – firmly establishes a uniquely ownable trademark that is portable across all non-linear digital platforms and beyond, from Hulu to iTunes. Syfy also creates an umbrella brand name that can extend into new adjacent businesses under the Syfy Ventures banner, such as Syfy Games, Syfy Films and Syfy Kids. 

Additionally, as the Channel’s footprint expands rapidly around the globe, aiming to reach more than 50 international channels by the end of next year, Syfy meets the need of a globally relevant, trademarkable brand that stands for something unique to the brand in each territory.

The new brand evolution will launch on air and on-line July 7th, in tandem with the premiere of the new scripted drama, Warehouse 13, and the return of breakout summer series Eureka. An aggressive trade marketing campaign will kick off this spring. scifi.com will assume the URL syfy.com at that time.

SCI FI Channel is a television network that fuels the imagination of viewers with original series and events, blockbuster movies and classic science fiction and fantasy programming, as well as a dynamic Web site (www.scifi.com) and magazine. Launched in 1992, and currently in 95 million homes, SCI FI Channel is a network of NBC Universal, one of the world’s leading media and entertainment companies.

I mean, for fuck’s sake! What the Christ is “imagination-based entertainment “? Can’t they just say “TV programming”?

Interestingly, it was Isaac Asimov himself who shouted and screamed to make sure the channel was originally called Sci Fi. If he was alive today, he would be orbiting  furiously around the LaGrange point of his casket.

Wankers.

But I have to give credit to sci-fi blog site i09 who came up with this new logo for themselves:

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

Here’s another one of those stories that reinforces my firm belief that we are all doomed. Here’s this year’s most inane and dumb lawsuit yet, from, you guessed it, the good old U.S. of A. Where else?

Seems 21year-old Yale student Jesse Maiman decided that the best, safest and most efficient way to transport his Xbox 360 to Cincinnati was not throuh a secured and assured shipping company, who offer things like, you know, insurance, but rather through the airline check-in luggage. You know, where surly baggage handlers throw shit in the belly of the plane willy-nilly, and delicate stuff is guaranteed to fall off of the luggage buggy.

This fact alone makes the guy kind of an idiot. But what is more moronic is that when he arrived, the console and all it’s bits had dissappeared – and were never seen again. As a result, this fool is now suing the airline for $1 million.

$1 fucking million.

Let’s break this down. A console worth a few hundred dollars at most is lost, and he sues for that much?

He claims that the console had a “specialised hard drive”. What the hell is a specialised hard drive? What the fuck was it specialised for? Did it carry the secret plans to the International Space Station or something? Did it have proof of extraterrestrial life on it, or the cure for Alzheimer’s or something? Was it made of diamonds?

So let’s assume the console is a standard console. with a standard hard drive, and standard accessories. What takes the suit to $1 million? Does losing a few year’s worth of games saves equal let’s say $999,500? What kind of whiny-ass, annoying little weasel is this man?

“That thing was my DVD player” he has said. So what? You and everyone else, bub. Doesn’t  mean shit.

If this gets through and he gets more than the console is worth, I swear that we as a civilisation are doomed to wipe ourselves out.

People like this engender my ire. Ask for $500 and shut the fuck up.

Original story here.

I can spend hours trawling through without even realising it. But what keeps me hooked? There are, of course, good, solid and well-researched dialogs on these sites, well-thought out, well-written and filled with keen logic. But then there are also the insane ramblings of people who will believe, to coin a phrase, “any old shit their feeble mind can conjour up”.  Example after the jump.

Many of these more comical (by “comical” I, of course, mean “pathetic”) themes are recurrent: the Galactic Federation Of Light (the prophet of this nonsense shot herself in the foot by predicting when we would see thousands of alien ships over our cities. Despite the fact the date came and went with no action, many idiots still believe in this rubbish), The Mayan Calendar (despite the fact that evidence that the Mayan calendar ending in 2012 (meaning  the end of civilisation) has been shown to be utter nonsense as it was based of a badly-translated Mayan inscription, many people still believe this) and more.

But one of the most annoying is the whole myth of Planet X, also called Nibiru. If we are to believe the doomsayers out there, this is a mysterious planet that only passes the Earth every now and then, and contains a race of aliens that are in some posts out to destroy us, and in others out to save us. Apparently, despite the fact Nibiru roams around the Solar System, it also hides behind the Sun (which is why we can’t see it).  Apparently, it’s scheduled passing by Earth (in, you guessed it, 2012) will cause the poles to shift and the oceans to rise, yada yada yada.  Google it for more detail – it is the finest example of buffoonery you will come across. Despite every single person on the face of the planet Earth who has the slightest bit of knowledge of astronomy saying “look, this is basically complete and utter bollocks”, many still believe. And this post, from a popular conspiracy website (which actually has a high percentage of intelligent and thoughtful discussions going on about other subjects) is a classic example of wearing a tinfoil hat so tight it cuts off the blood to the brain:

Prepare To Save Yourselves OR Prepare To DIE

********TURN OFF EVERYTHING AND LISTEN FOR YOURSELF*********

The Anunnaki who inhabit Nibiru are able to create, destroy, and manipulate whole solar systems – able to switch between multiple dimensions. The movement of the PlanetX group is intelligently controlled and appears to stay behind the Sun to avoid the attention of the masses until late in the going. Got it?? COINTEL AGENTS claim that PlanetX is a hoax but THEY ARE LIEING since they falsely claim it would have to be prominent in the sky by now.

The evidence for PlanetX is growing more abundant every day. For about three weeks, I’ve been able to hear the unsettling noises of its approach in the south skies. Saturday night the sounds were briefly so intense and my wife and I had to turn our music up pretty loud to block it out. I can hear it as I type this message… similar to a distant howling wind. Reports of these noises, though plentiful, WILL NOT show up on google search results. NASA is also tampering with all imaging systems that would otherwise show absolute proof. The internet is under close scrutiny make no mistake about it.

You can either prepare to save yourselves or prepare to die. 

Classic. Because, of course, you can hear the sound of a planet OUT IN THE VACUUM OF SPACE from Earth. This must be why we can hear the Sun… 

Guess it is just totally impossible that this sound, like the howling wind, could, y’know, be the howling wind? He later decribes it as sometimes like “a cosmic jet” or a vacuum cleaner, to which one responder suggested maybe the writer had heard maybe a jet and a vacuum cleaner.

Important to note, of course, that the poster does not include any of this growing evidence.

So this is the kind of thing I love to get caught up in. It both amuses and frustrates me, and what keeps me hooked is the responses to threads like these. I pity the folks that lap it up, and I give a thumbs up to those who take the piss out of them.

I often wonder how these people maintain a normal, functioning everyday life. If I knew for a fact that this was going to happen, would I be sat on the internet posting on some forum? Or would I be heading to the hills to find a cave and lay low till it all passed? Would I calmly go to work each day and say nothing?  Surely, if these people are so convinced of this nonsense they shoul by now be jobless pariahs, shunned by cow-orkers and friends alike for being gibbering idiots? Certainly, if someone I employed babbled on about this all day (which, you think you would, if you believed it) I would consider not only his continued employment, but his mental health.

Anyway, check out the full forum thread here. Have a browse around the site, there is actually some some good serious stuff to be read, if you can get past all the insane tin-foil nonsense like this.

Full video after the jump. Readers on Facebook can view the film here.

In case you weren’t aware, i.e. you are not a mind-numbingly stupid, easily-led, tree-hugging, sandal-wearing, crystal-waving, love and light-preaching (mostly American) halfwit, recently the internet was assailed by the biggest load of absolute bollocks since John Titor’s time-travel hi-jinx, onto which a seemingly endless number of desperate, pathetic people clung.

A lady going by the particularly feeble name of Blossom Goodchild, who is apparently either English or Australian, no-one seems to know for sure - started claiming (somewhat inevitably through the youtubes) that she was “channelling” aliens through some hokey other-dimensional spiritual plane or other. Apparently it just happened to tap into a number of popular theories of the feeble-witted including noble alien races coming to our aid, and fighting less noble alien races hell-bent on our destruction. Or some shit like that. 

Many hard-of-thinking (mostly American) folks decided that based on no evidence whatsoever this must absolutely be true, and that these aliens – allegedly part of the Galactic Federation Of Light – were to be our saviours. With the promise of enlightenment and peace and all manner of pseudo-spiritual rubbish, many seemed to totally not pick up on that fact that this Goodchild woman just happened to also be selling books about this nonsense. Her messages were supposed to be for all to hear, and for the betterment of mankind. And you , of course, have to buy the book to find out more.

To a normal person, like you and I, the moment somebody mentions a book or CD or DVD, the antenna twitch and we think “oops, bollocks alarm sounding, pull out, pull out!”. Sadly, a large number of people were too stupid to think this and bought all her drivel hook, line and sinker. And boat, and expensive mooring for the boat, and boat-based maintenance and fuel bills, and the cost of bait and fishing equipment. And with the full knowledge that they’re gonna need a bigger boat.

Anyway, where the fuck was I going with this? Oh yes. So, anyway, all these “channelled” (i.e “shit she made up whilst putting on a silly voice”) prophecies culminated with what can only be described as the most utterly dumb act carried out by a snake-oil salesman: a concrete date. She stated that the Galactic Federation of Light would appear on the 14th October 2008, in massive 2000-mile long spaceships. Can you guess what happened next?

Exactly. Fuck all. The next thing you know, she is on the youtubes again, stating that “I don’t know what happened, I have no idea why they didn’t show,” etc. etc.   Now, this kind of crap makes me mad. The fact that people were taken in by it – that makes me madder still. But what makes me feel even more disdain for the human race than I already do is that scores of her followers still support her and fight her corner religiously – even though what actually happened – nothing whatsoever – cannot be anything but proof that she was conning people into parting with their money for her nonsense.

She stated in her apology video that “the fact she made almost nothing off of her books – about $4,000AUS” (which is about £13.22 in proper money) proves that she was not lying.

No, love, it just proves that your book was shite and you didn’t sell many.

Anyway…I wandered off a lot there.  At some point I may do a proper blog about it, because the sheer amount of endless, unadulterated new-age crap that took over abovetopsecret.com made me furious and made me want to take a rusty shotgun to everyone that is so gullible as to believe in such rubbish.

So, to the topic at hand. Back on the UFO trail, I came across this film, made in 2005 and presented by defence journalist Nick Cook – a stout fellow of solid diligence and logical mind – i.e. British – which investigates the UFO phenomenon and asks the question: is there a more earthly and rational explanation behind sightings, abductions and cattle mutilations?

With many years of experience in the field of defence technology, Cook is well-placed to shine an investigative light on UFO’s and ask the question: are they simply super-secret black military projects based off of German plans from World War 2, cultivated in the minds of German scientists commandeered by the US Military as part of Project Paperclip? Was the whole phenomenon a self-perpetuating creation of the CIA and misinformation intended to keep US military secrets away from the prying eyes of the Russians at the height of the cold war?  

A logical and level-headed invvestigation, and worth a watch, even if things do peter out a bit when he gets on shaky ground (such as , he never really investigates abductions at all).  Worth a watch.

Oh, and one last thing that should have had people realising that the Goodchild stuff was all bollocks: she quoted them as actually using corny phrases like “three of your Earth-days”. Get to Fuck.

Here are some amusing and annoying examples of the law being made up in the spot (and then being abruptly told to get to fuck). It is to be hoped that the assinine community officer in the first clip is a community officer no more. We used to call these officers “Specials” – he certainly is. Cock.

More scary-mary stuff for you to watch. I like being a portent of doom.

Seems that even if we find a quick solution to global warming – highly unlilkely whilst America and China still have a living population – we’ll be shooting ourselves in the foot anyway, as it will just open up a whole can of worms. Seems like global warming is helping to mask the effects of global dimming.

Yep. We’re pretty much fucked.