Why did I stop composing? And would you like some free music?
You know what? I haven’t written a single piece of music for a number of years. My synthesizers sit here, quietly gathering dust. I lost the spark; an inquisitive sense of inventiveness stemming from years of listening to Jarre and Vangelis and others fuelled a desire to write my own music. I had no training, no musical education. I just wanted to have fun. And I did. Find out what happened to that spirit (and get free music) after the jump.
But as my listening tastes changed – from electronica to orchestral film and game soundtracks, from electronic to acoustic, so too did my compositional style. I found myself trapped in musical cuffs. As I listened to less and less synth and more orchestra, I found myself being cornered into writing music that demanded a more orchestral sound. I lost the innovative, adventurous spirit of “make up a cool sound and mix it with others” and ended up with “I can only add soft strings and a low french horn under that rhythm”. And the fact that I was demanding faux-orchestral realism from equipment that could not do it as well as I wanted hemmed me in further. I went from inventing random shapes to verse, chorus, verse, chorus.
Eventually, these barriers defeated me, and I stopped. Right in my tracks, just stopped, like some creature on a great migration who knows he has reached the end and there is no further path to walk. The spark had been whittled away, replaced by constraints demanded by the orchestration I had imposed upon myself. I tried to return to more electronic stylings, but that fluency, that language of sound architecture has left me. I found myself simply tweaking built-in sounds, without the will or desire to create my own (adding to this was the fact that the gradual change of synthesizers over the years – from instant result twiddly knobs and sliders to “plan in advance and build accordingly” DAC controls – stifled the creativity evermore).
So, here I stand, no idea if I will ever compose again. Not that I was particularly good, mind, nothing special I am sure. But at least I put one album together. That’s something.
And seeing as the only sales of my album were, pretty much to me, family members and mates (although this is fine – I did it because I loved it, not because I wanted to sell lots of CDs) I’m thinking: fuck it. Here’s my music. Download it. Enjoy it. If you like it, feel free to offer some support by buying the CD if you wish (the booklet has a funny story). But there is no pressure. Your choice.
Of course, it’s still my music, so please don’t sell it. Copyright and all that.
More than anything else, I simply hope you enjoy it. And, if just one person out there can hear it and be inspired to write their own music as a result, then I am happy. My work here will be done.
To download the tracks for yourself, right click on the titles and save as.
sa mo do do:
Jinxy, Tinkle & Mush:
A Waltz For Naseem:
Altrincham F.C. Official Theme:
Sinfonia to Cantata no. 29:
Brandenburg Concerto 3, first Allegro:
Brandenburg Concerto, second Allegro: