Judge pwns idiot, proves dog more intelligent.

I love it when some smug, bullshitter gets hoist by his own petard and made to look like a complete spamdangler.

Seems back in 2000, EDS was contracted to design and build a CRM system for BSkyB. However, turns out they made a complete arse of it, and eventually BSkyB had to say “GTFO” and ended up “getting a man in” to sort it, at great expense. 

Court-based shenanigans ensued with BSkyB claiming that if EDS had not misrepresented its expertise and abilities they would have awarded the  contract to their first and original choice: PriceWaterhouseCoopers. They claimed that  this misinformation and subsequent failure of EDS to live up to its own bigging-up led to excessive delays and unwarranted extra spending by BSkyB. Part of the case against EDS and the accuracy of its claims lay with one Joe Galloway, Managing Director for CRM Solutions at EDS, who apparently gave a timeframe for the completion which turned out to be utter and complete bollocks (technical term).

The legal case included five separate accusations of mirepresentation, including the one above. Now, the case eventually fell in BSkyB’s favor, with only the alleged misrepresentation above being upheld by the judge. But the kick in the ass in this case is how this came about and how it resulted in a reputation being completely pummelled into dust in the most awesome comedy courtroom drama way possible. Read on after the jump.

It turns out that the key to proving the misrepresentation lay in disproving the veracity of Galloway’s claim that he knew what he was doing. And the key to showing that you couldn’t believe a fucking word he said hinged on another claim: his degree from Concordia College in the US Virgin Islands. Galloway claimed that he had travelled a number of times to the Virgin Islands to obtain his degree at the college.

You are no doubt thinking: “What does that have to do with anything?”. Well, it turns out the judge,  Mark Howard QC, found this a little hard to swallow. Why would you take a degree halfway across the world? Smelling a rat, the honorable QC did a little digging, and turns out that he was able to prove that Galloway, despite his claims to the contrary, had no such degree.

Now, that isn’t the funny part. It turns out that there is no Concordia College. And, bless him, the QC made sure he hammered the false nature of Galloway’s degree home with a mallet the size of France in no uncertain terms by enrolling his dog, Lulu, into the same “college” – effectively a mail order “buy a degree” scheme.

Not only did he produce a letter from the Vice-Chancellor of the college that matched precisely the letter Galloway had, which stated:

“Mr Galloway / Lulu demonstrated that he/she is prepared and fully equipped to add valuable apprenticeship to our institution’s activities by means of talented and profoundly investigated subject treatment,”

he further humiliated Galloway by the fact that his dog Lulu received a better score.

A lawyer who witnessed this stated:

“He gave his evidence [on going to the college] in the same confident, secure manner as he gave his evidence about the EDS representations. Make no mistake, this was a key factor in EDS losing this case.”

His reputation now completely battered ass-backwards, the claim that Galloway did not deliberately mislead or misinform BSkyB about the development term fell apart, and eventually EDS lost the case, to the tune of around £700m.

Not surprisingly, Galloway did not last for very long at EDS after that, leaving in 2000 to form his own CRM consultancy, and then later to work for EDSC – who promptly sacked his ass when they they found out about his false degree. Funny, that.

Here at dogsounds towers, you may have come to learn over the years, we hate smug motherfuckers. And when they get their ass kicked, we are all over that shit.

And Mark Howard QC – you are awesome, despite the silly wig.

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