Halo Reach: Once More Unto The Breach

Yes, it’s here, the first glimpse of anything significant at all from Halo: Reach.  And it leaves us moist with anticipation.

Facebook readers click here for the video.

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This week’s Avoid Spikes comic now online!

So, another week comes and goes and another strip goes up.

You know, sometimes I look at the almost child-like personality of Foxx and think, from time to time, that to actually live life through those eyes – with an eternal and perpetual sense of wonderment at everything – would be awesome. But, sadly, we don’t have the option. Ah well, never mind. On with the grind, I guess.

This week, Mart is busy doing SCIENCE! in his super-secret secret lab and has discovered a way that may just allow him to give Foxx more intelligence – maybe even as much as half a wit. Maybe.

Thoroughly analyse this week’s crenellated and slightly squidgy strip here.  

Phriday philm phun: dinosaurs

So, I thought I would start a new section where each Friday I dig out films from the intertubes around a central theme, silly or serious.  This will no doubt carry on until I forget to do one.

This week’s theme is dinosaurs. Yay!

Films after the jump, facebook readers click here to see the videos.

Let me know what you think next week’s theme should be, and I will see what I can find. Just remember: no obvious memes!


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UK Government complicit in kidnapping, torture?

The Government suffered what can only be described as a humiliating defeat today after the High Court reinforced a previous judgment that seven previously redacted paragraphs contained within in CIA evidentiary documentation relating  to the arrest and detention of Binyam Mohamed  on suspicion of complicity in acts of terrorism should be made public.  The paragraphs lend weight to the suggestion that Mohamed suffered severe physical and psychological torture whilst in U.S. custody. Many believe that this was with  full  knowledge of MI5.  More details after the jump.

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I’m on a horse.

You know, when I was a kid, adverts for Old Spice usually took place in a football changing room, involved fusty old sports personalities and basically did nothing to remove the idea that Old Spice was for men who actually wanted to smell like a dodgy Robinsons’ pub vault in a Northern working town, circa 1978.

Now, it seems, Old Spice has had somewhat of a renaissance. And a funny one at that. Catch the adverts after the jump. Facebook readers, as ever, click here to see the videos.

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Why our world may actually be nothing but a hologram

No doubt as you have, by now, figured out, we physicists we here at dogsounds Towers pride ourselves on our crusade to bring little snippets of THE SCIENCE! and the knowledge of our universe to our readers in a way that is straightforward, plain-speaking and easy to understand.

We endeavor to cherrypick the best examples of current thinking and put them into your immense and powerful BRAIN  to enhance your world view. To bring to you enlightenment without the hassle of going to a university and being all socially inadequate around girls and that.

Okay, well, let’s be honest, we don’t do that much, But when we see an article or a news story about THE SCIENCE! that is the equivalent of waking up and finding dinosaurs in your car, then we have to pass it along as best we can.

But, I am afraid, dear, sweet gentle readers, for the first time we have totally failed. We have today found an article of THE SCIENCE! that is so staggeringly obtuse, we have not been able to break it down. More after the jump.

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Proof that DARPA works on scary shit, but can’t keep secrets.

So, the first and most important rule of any super-secret science team working to create Godawful aberrations of nature for who-knows-what purpose is pretty self-evident: shut the fuck up and say nothing. So it’s both amusing and disheartening to hear that the fount of all super-secret military industrial complex conspiracy theories – DARPA – announced right in it’s annual budget – it’s annual fucking budget, I shit you not – that it is working on synthetic organisms that will live for ever and, should they turn out to be harmful, contain a genetic kill-switch. WTF? More info after the jump.

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This week’s Avoid Spikes comic now online!

You know the most annoying thing about shit video games? No, not that developers make them from time to time. No, not that publishers sometimes hobble the developers with constraints that result in said shit game. It’s when crap like Tony Hawk Ride come out.

It’s when developers attach a goddam peripheral to the game and sell it for £bazillion. A peripheral that is absolutely no use whatsoever with any other game (or, in fact, it is fair to say, the fucking game it shipped with). And what makes Tony Hawk Ride even worse?

It’s a franchise that has been going down the toilet for years, and it seems everyone except Activision and Tony Hawk can see this. The saddest thing about this game is not that people forked out a fortune for a pile of crap, but Hawk’s response to the overwhelming slamming of the game: he declared that everyone decided to hate it before they had even played it.

No, dear. It’s just a shit game.

Catch this week’s blisteringly critical strip right here, but only if you have your licenced dogsounds strip-viewing glasses with patented seeing-o-vision installed.   

Coolest airline livery EVAR!

So, you know, airlines spend a metric fuckton of money creating brands and liveries that have a corporate identity and enourage familiarity and loyalty. And, it seems, 99% of them end up with ‘planes that look as boring as ass. Ho-hum.

And then comes an airline that only three people outside South Africa have ever heard of  – kulula – who are not only so utterly cool that they are allergic to uppercase, they also spent about $13.52SA on a redesign of their fleet and arrived at the coolest looking civil livery in the history of everything ever.  The design is called “flying 101”, and the idea of travelling in an infographic is rather appealing.

The only trick they missed was painting the turbine fans yellow and black and labelling them in the legendary “percentage of pie chart most resembling pac-man” style.

Witness and enjoy:

Sand Animations by Kseniya Simonova

Kseniya Simonova is a Ukranian artist. Using a giant light box and music, she paints animated stories in sand recounting the invasion and occupation of Ukraine during WWII. She won Ukraine’s Got Talent 2009. Singing jackasses need not apply.

The story starts with a couple on a park bench, followed by the chaotic invasion, morphing into an old widow and a memorial for unknown soldiers, ending with remembrance that “you are always near”. Turn up the volume and watch this captivating sequence full-screen:

Judge pwns idiot, proves dog more intelligent.

I love it when some smug, bullshitter gets hoist by his own petard and made to look like a complete spamdangler.

Seems back in 2000, EDS was contracted to design and build a CRM system for BSkyB. However, turns out they made a complete arse of it, and eventually BSkyB had to say “GTFO” and ended up “getting a man in” to sort it, at great expense. 

Court-based shenanigans ensued with BSkyB claiming that if EDS had not misrepresented its expertise and abilities they would have awarded the  contract to their first and original choice: PriceWaterhouseCoopers. They claimed that  this misinformation and subsequent failure of EDS to live up to its own bigging-up led to excessive delays and unwarranted extra spending by BSkyB. Part of the case against EDS and the accuracy of its claims lay with one Joe Galloway, Managing Director for CRM Solutions at EDS, who apparently gave a timeframe for the completion which turned out to be utter and complete bollocks (technical term).

The legal case included five separate accusations of mirepresentation, including the one above. Now, the case eventually fell in BSkyB’s favor, with only the alleged misrepresentation above being upheld by the judge. But the kick in the ass in this case is how this came about and how it resulted in a reputation being completely pummelled into dust in the most awesome comedy courtroom drama way possible. Read on after the jump.

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How to report the news

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(Facebook readers click here for the full video)

The Ladybird Book of Police

Remember Ladybird books? Little educational tomes that were oh-so-delightfully stuck in the Heartbeat era and told small children about interesting yet mundane things whilst teaching second-level reading skills?

I remember them fondly, and our man in the Americas emailed this to dogsounds Towers. Learn some interesting things about policemen that probably still hold true today. Although I think Brian Plectrum is now head of the Met. Or the replacement for the Post Office Tower, one of the two.  Read on after the jump!

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This week’s ‘Avoid Spikes’ comic now online!

So, another weekend, another strip.

This one, I think, was Mart’s idea. And it might stretch out for a few episodes. Perhaps.

You have to admit, it’s pretty awesome that someone thought it would be funny to put a smiley face on a hoover, and then the company actually went and ran with the idea. Can you imagine a car designer having a laugh, making the front of a car look *just* like a silly face, only to find that the heads of production then decided to actually produce it?

Sometimes, corporate suits show their human side, I guess 🙂

Anyhoo, posess this week’s spooky strip right here.

This week’s Avoid Spikes comic now online!

Yes, this week’s strip is finally up, after delays caused by…um…Wallander, old episodes of Dr. Who and a couple of episodes of Horizon. And a program about ancient Egyptian sailing boats.

Anyhoo, we really struggled for ideas for this week’s strip, so consequently about three of you will understand any references in it. But what the hey. It was Mart’s idea 🙂

Scrape a key down a piano string and materialize to this week’s strip right here.

This week’s Avoid Spikes now online!

As the big freeze continues apace around dogsounds Towers, Mart asks a question that, come on, admit it, we have all asked ourselves at one time or another.

Whilst this cold snap continues, make sure you are taking time out to embrace your innder child; go out and play in the snow!

After, of course, you have caught a whiff of this week’s strip right here.

New stuff in the dogsounds store!

Just a quicke update to let you know there is some *new* stuff in the store, Just a couple of ‘lolfoxx’ items for the time being.

Check out the latest awesome dogsounds & Avoid Spikes merch right here, right now!

The official dogsounds store is now open!

Well, it may have a temporary jerry-rigged home for now, but the offical dogsounds and Avoid Spikes store is now well and truly open!

We plan to make all sorts of fun things available for you – haven’t quite figured out what to put on the ladies thong yet – but to start with we have a range of items that reinforce our belief that nothing is as awesome as dinosaurs, because dinosaurs > everything!

Pop along to the store and have a look-see for yourself. Stop in every now and then as we expand our range (i.e. as Foxx draws more stuff). Enjoy!

New (year) Avoid Spikes comic now online!

From all of us here at dogsounds Towers and Avoid Spikes, we’d like to wish you a really, really happy 2010.

Here’s hoping you all get what you wish for in the coming year.

Click here to read 2010’s first and truly monolithic strip.